Your face, but worse.

Your face,
but worse.

Hilariously Bad Poortraits Starting At $40

(Get an original hand-drawn "masterpiece" + a digital copy!)

Get Your Poortrait

How it works

Step One

Fill out the order form

You'll provide some basic info, upload a selfie reference photo, and submit payment. (Payments are secure and powered by Stripe)

Order Now

Step Two

I'll work my "magic"

Using my questionable artistic skills, I’ll create a masterpiece (or disasterpiece).

Step Three

You'll get TWO copies!

A digital version and an original, hand-drawn mistake mailed to your door.

Step Four

Hang it up (or hide it forever)

Hang it up
(or hide it forever)

Frame it, burn it, gift it. Your call.

No do-overs. No refunds. You knew what this was.

Some of my "finest" work

The wall of shame

"Well, it sure is pretty ugly. But a poor decision never felt so good! I can't wait to show everyone my frameable piece of lifetime regret!"

– Meredith

"Well, it sure is pretty ugly. But a poor decision never felt so good! I can't wait to show everyone my frameable piece of lifetime regret!"

– Meredith

"Well, it sure is pretty ugly. But a poor decision never felt so good! I can't wait to show everyone my frameable piece of lifetime regret!"

– Meredith

"I knew we looked bad (any mirror could tell us) but only an artist this talented could replicate the feeling of how terrible we look."

- Dustin

"I knew we looked bad (any mirror could tell us) but only an artist this talented could replicate the feeling of how terrible we look."

- Dustin

"I knew we looked bad (any mirror could tell us) but only an artist this talented could replicate the feeling of how terrible we look."

- Dustin

"I asked him to draw me like one of his French girls and he nailed it! I've never felt more beautiful."

– Troy

"I asked him to draw me like one of his French girls and he nailed it! I've never felt more beautiful."

– Troy

"I asked him to draw me like one of his French girls and he nailed it! I've never felt more beautiful."

– Troy

"Geez, Dad! Why do you keep drawing me like this? I'm telling Mom!"

– Norah

"Geez, Dad! Why do you keep drawing me like this? I'm telling Mom!"

– Norah

"Geez, Dad! Why do you keep drawing me like this? I'm telling Mom!"

– Norah

"I just woke up from a nap, checked my email, saw my Bad Poortrait attached, and laughed so hard I woke up my cats."

- MC

"I just woke up from a nap, checked my email, saw my Bad Poortrait attached, and laughed so hard I woke up my cats."

- MC

"I just woke up from a nap, checked my email, saw my Bad Poortrait attached, and laughed so hard I woke up my cats."

- MC

"Uhhhhhhhhhhh…"

– Eddie

"Uhhhhhhhhhhh…"

– Eddie

"Uhhhhhhhhhhh…"

– Eddie

"I look like I was drawn by someone who has never seen a human face before. 10/10."

– Colby

"I look like I was drawn by someone who has never seen a human face before. 10/10."

– Colby

"I look like I was drawn by someone who has never seen a human face before. 10/10."

– Colby

“When photography emerged in the 19th century, critics feared it would kill traditional fine art. After seeing my portrait, I think that theory has been confirmed.”

– Dennis

“When photography emerged in the 19th century, critics feared it would kill traditional fine art. After seeing my portrait, I think that theory has been confirmed.”

– Dennis

“When photography emerged in the 19th century, critics feared it would kill traditional fine art. After seeing my portrait, I think that theory has been confirmed.”

– Dennis

You'll wish it was AI

Get Your Poortrait

FAQ

How bad are they?

Can I request changes?

How long does it take?

What do I get exactly?

What kind of materials do you use?

Can I gift a poortrait?

Can I include two people in one portrait?

Are you left-handed or right-handed?

Who's the "artist"?

Additional Questions? sorry@badpoortraits.com

Pricing

Spots are limited

You’ll get:

One signed original

Because I want you to know exactly who’s responsible for this disaster.

Hi-res digital copy

So you can impress your co-workers with a new avatar.

8x10 inch 140lb cold press paper

Fancy paper, terrible art.

Instant regret

Guaranteed.

Single poortrait

Solo cringe

$40

Plus $6 Flat Shipping

Order Now

Couples poortrait

Misery loves company

$60

Plus $6 Flat Shipping

Order Now

Your face, but worse.

Your face,but worse.

Your face,but worse.

Hilariously Bad Poortraits Starting At $40

Hilariously Bad Poortraits Starting At $40

How it works

How it works

Step One

Fill out the order form

Fill out the order form

Step Two

I'll work my "magic"

I'll work my "magic"

Step Three

You'll get TWO copies!

You'll get TWO copies!

Step Four

Hang it up (or hide it forever)

Hang it up(or hide it forever)

No do-overs. No refunds. You knew what this was.

No do-overs. No refunds. You knew what this was.

No do-overs. No refunds. You knew what this was.

The wall of shame

The wall of shame

You'll wish it was AI

You'll wish it was AI

FAQ

FAQ

Pricing

Pricing

Spots are limited

Spots are limited

Single poortrait

Single poortrait

Single poortrait

$40

$40

Couples poortrait

Couples poortrait

Couples poortrait

$60

$60

No refunds. No take-backs. Just a lifelong reminder of your poor decisions.

No refunds. No take-backs. Just a lifelong reminder of your poor decisions.

Questions? Email Me at sorry@badpoortraits.com

Questions? Email Me at sorry@badpoortraits.com

Questions? Email Me at sorry@badpoortraits.com

BTW...I can actually design things

BTW...I can actually design things

Branding. Product Design. Packaging. Illustration.

Your face,
but worse.

Your face,
but worse.

Hang it up
(or hide it forever)